


the city's ours until the fall

by metalmeisje, Sirengenesis



Category: The Yogscast
Genre: AU, Body Horror, Cannibalism, Castration, Gen, Gore, M/M, Murder Husbands, Mutilation, NSFW, Torture, general awfulness, rape mention, wotf
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-23
Updated: 2016-03-26
Packaged: 2018-05-28 12:15:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 3
Words: 11,156
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6328720
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/metalmeisje/pseuds/metalmeisje, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sirengenesis/pseuds/Sirengenesis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“I never touched you,” Lalnable spat, the harsh words laced with disgust and more than enough to break Xephos’ carefully kept composure. He curled his hand into a fist and punched the seething blonde hard enough that he could hear bones crack. Lalnable’s head snapped back and he hissed in pain but Xephos barely noticed, stretching his fingers slowly.</p>
<p>There wasn't even an attempt at hiding it, the second Ridge heard bone crack he laughed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. My demons are begging me to open my mouth

**Author's Note:**

> It’s an AU, bear with us. Xephos dies, Ridge restarts the world. They become murder husbands in the next life. It’s not pretty for everyone else. We’re awful and unapologetic. Heavily based on some of our own headcanons, feel free to ask for clarification if that’s needed! Written as an RP and slightly edited for your reading pleasure/ease.
> 
> Major character death is not in this chapter.

“You know, you’re free to shut up any time now.”  
  
Xephos shook his head as he shoved his front door closed with his hip, effectively shutting out the outside world with a bang loud enough that it would probably alarm Ridge. Not loud enough, however, to stop the yammering of the man he was shoving inside ahead of him, fingers curled into the long, blonde ponytail to keep him an arm’s length away.  
  
He hadn’t exactly counted on bringing home company. Not when his only plans had been ‘have a nice chat with someone, check up on people and leave them to their own business again’; plans that had been mildly thwarted, landing Xephos in the company of someone who apparently barely took time to breathe before starting another string of increasingly creative yet unimpressive threats.  
  
“Yeah, yeah. You want to skin me alive.” Xephos rolled his eyes and shoved the man into the kitchen roughly, grinning a little when the blonde was thrown off-balance and forced to his knees now that his hands had been tied securely behind his back. Ignoring the indignant cursing, Xephos crossed his arms and leaned against the door, keeping an eye on his furious company.

“Ridge, you busy?”

As distracted as Ridge was playing with the cats that he and Xephos kept, the door slamming closed did take his attention. Causing a small surge of power rush into his fingers because there rarely was a reason to rush about and slam doors. Whatever had happened while Xephos was out, apparently it was enough that their day was going to be interesting.  
  
Pushing off the ground, Ridge stretched. “In the living room; give me a minute, bright eyes,” he called as he made his way towards the kitchen, the cats dodging under and around his feet as he walked. As soon as he saw who was sitting face down in their kitchen however, he felt every fiber of his being raised on end.  
  
“What the hell is he doing here.”

_Why the hell were you close enough that you got a hold of him_.

Ridge looked over at Xephos, giving him a once over, checking for any sort of injury that might have been inflicted. It was pointless for him really; after all, things were different now, but old habits die hard and memories still were burned into Ridge's mind of the last time they had interacted with the blond.

“He is here because he wouldn’t stop lunging at me with a knife,” Xephos deadpanned, pushing himself away from the door and wandering over to Ridge to kiss him on the cheek - and throwing the blonde a warning look in the process.

_Stay, or I will gut you where you sit._

“I could’ve left him where he was but I figured you’d want to have a word with him too. I know, I know, staying out of their business.“ He held up his hands, fingers splayed in an almost-genuine apology as he grinned a bit. “And I was going to. Mostly. But this prick apparently didn’t agree with me.”  
  
The prick in question, snarling when Xephos spoke about him as if he wasn’t even there, pulled his shoulders up and yanked against the metal wires around his wrists, melded together and wrapped around so tightly they dug into the soft flesh of his wrists.

At least he was finally keeping his mouth shut, Xephos thought; he wrinkled his nose in disgust as he hopped on the kitchen table, legs swinging as he studied their questionable guest.  
  
“You told me about him, right?” Xephos glanced at Ridge before focusing his attention on the seething man in front of them, eyes bright and sharp in their curiosity. “Lalnable. I mean, you told me he was an ass, which he absolutely confirmed in our little.. scuffle. But I didn’t expect him to get this fucking handsy right away. What’s up with that?”

“Oh, this one you had every right bringing here,” Ridge returned, barely able to keep the snarl down in his voice. As few interaction as they might have had this time around, Ridge didn't let grudges fall easily and Lalnable had wrote his name down on Ridge's shit list in blood a long time ago. Attacking Xephos again only confirmed what he had already assumed.  
  
With a smile that was almost too relaxed Ridge moved so that he was knelt down in front of Lalnable, seeing how close he could get his finger to the blond man's face without him snapping. “It's almost nice knowing that you haven't changed a bit. It is going to make this so much more satisfying for me.”  
  
Ridge looked up at Xephos on the table, wrapping his hand into the pony tail and pulling the man's hair back, seeing how far he could push things. It turned out not long.

“Let me go.” Lalnable was practically spitting mad already and Ridge loved it.  
  
“No can do sunshine.” Ridge hummed, patting Lalnable's cheek with the most tense smile up at Xephos. “Oh, I could tell you horror stories about our little friend here in a past life. Ones I am sure he would enact again if we gave him half a chance.” It was a memory that caused his fingers to tighten in Lalnable's hair and pull, sharp enough to cause pain. “Are you sure you want to relive them darling? He was never very pleasant to you.”

“Get your filthy hands off of me.” Lalnable bared his teeth at Ridge, head forced back at an angle that Xephos guessed had to be uncomfortable. “Or I swear you’ll-“  
  
“We’ll what?” Xephos couldn’t keep the amusement from his voice as he settled for merely observing, pulling his legs up until he was sitting cross-legged on the table. “We’ll pay? I will gladly remind you that _you_ were the one who went at _me_ for no bloody reason.”  
  
At least Xephos assumed there was no reason for it, other than that Lalnable seemed to dislike his face and had deemed it plenty to go after him.

He stayed quiet for a while, one hand pressed to his chest to brush his fingers over the necklace hidden under his shirt before he purposefully dropped his shoulders and propped his head up. Tension draining from him now that he realized he had made a good call in not letting Lalnable go on his merry way again.  
  
It had to be a fucking _good_ story, too; something about the way Ridge’s voice was short and clipped, the grin a good mask if it wasn’t for the way Xephos could tell he held himself. Tense and ready to rip Lalnable’s head off his shoulders if he so much as made a bad move.  
  
“Tell me,” Xephos finally said, unable to ignore the urge to _know_. “I kind of figured we were never best buddies, what with the whole ‘stab and kill and murder’ shtick he pulled earlier.”

Ridge was unable to stop himself from smiling when Xephos quipped back at Lalnable, fast enough to shut him up. With a _tsk,_ Ridge shook his head looking down at Lalnable. “I assure you my hands are very clean; unlike your own. Oh, and Lalnable. Don't make threats you can't keep.” His smile hid so much, and Lalnable didn't know it, not yet at least.  
  
There had been a time when Ridge had wondered if the cannibal would make a show in this new world without their direct hand to bring about his fall, but it seemed that no matter whose nails dug in, the scientist was destined to fall. Sanity was such a finicky thing.  
  
“He raped you,” Ridge said bluntly, giving a sharp yank on Lalnable's hair the second he saw the man going to make protest. “Cut you open, ate your flesh, fucked you in whatever way he saw fit. After which he murdered you and as far as I am aware this happened more than once.” The words came out short, matter of fact, as detached as he could be so he didn't murder the man he was holding straight out.  
  
Lalnable snarled at him, ignoring the way his head was pulled. “As fun as that sounds, I never touched your precious spaceman.” Even though he was attempting to defend himself there was a smile, and Ridge had to take all his self control not to just punch him in the face right then and there.  
  
“No. You didn't and believe me when I say you won't ever get the chance to touch him like that.”

_Not again_.

“So he plays with his food.” Xephos took care to keep his voice light, eyes fixed on Lalnable even as Ridge spoke. Whatever it was that he had expected, might have been able to guess from the half-finished stories Ridge had told to drive his cautionary tale home, it wasn’t this.

His stomach lurched for a moment, the faint taste of bile rising in Xephos’ throat before he shoved it down and carefully unfolded himself. Hopping off the table, Xephos bridged the distance between himself and the others in a few quick strides so that he could crouch next to Ridge, eyes as dark as they ever got as he let the words sink in.  
  
They might not have the best track record of all the people here, but when Xephos tilted his head curiously and met Lalnable’s angry gaze, he had no problem believing that whatever they might have done, might still do when pushed far enough in a world that was as unwelcoming as could be, this man was a shitton worse.  
  
“I never touched you,” Lalnable spat, the harsh words laced with disgust and more than enough to break Xephos’ carefully kept composure. He curled his hand into a fist and punched the seething blonde hard enough that he could hear bones crack. Lalnable’s head snapped back and he hissed in pain but Xephos barely noticed, stretching his fingers slowly.

There wasn't even an attempt at hiding it, the second Ridge heard bone crack he laughed. Satisfaction racing down to his fingertips that he was holding Lalnable still rather then by the hair. Watching the stars in Lalnable's eyes form from the pain suddenly blooming out from a very possibly broken nose.  
  
Ridge's own eyes were glowing bright as he looked up as Xephos. As awful as what Lalnable had done was, he hadn't got his greedy hands on Xephos first this time around. They could make sure together that it wouldn't happen again and Ridge sure as hell intended to just do that.  
  
“He did. Which as far as unorthodox ways of playing with food go, sticking your dick in it is pretty up there I believe.” His fingers flexed as he stood up. Lalnable rocked back on the ground, swearing up a storm as blood slowly trickled down his face.  
  
Ridge pressed a butterfly kiss to Xephos' cheek, dropping his voice so their guest couldn't hear. “I think it would be in our best interest, and this entire world’s really, if we taught him that he shouldn't do that. Don't you think, love?”

It took Xephos a moment to acknowledge Ridge, rolling his shoulders back as the rage that had surged up and found an outlet settled down again and Xephos regained his composure. He’d long since stopped doubting Ridge’s word and knowing what this piece of shit had done made the strangled curses all the more satisfying.  
  
“Oh, absolutely,” Xephos muttered back. “If he doesn’t know that he can’t shove his cock in people without an invitation, he sure as fuck needs to be taught a lesson.”  
  
When Lalnable glared up at him, eyes narrowed to mere slits but burning furiously still, Xephos threw the blonde his sweetest smile. There were plenty of options that he could think of and his fingers itched with it, but he paused when he felt one of their cats wind around his legs.  
_  
_ _Now there’s an idea._  
  
“You know,” Xephos said conversationally as he crouched and swooped up the cat to plop her on the kitchen counter. “I have the feeling the cats are getting bored. How about we find them something to play with?”  
  
He hummed to himself as he ran his fingers over few knives that were sticking out of the one knife block they had even though they barely cooked, eyes lighting up a little as he yanked one free and turned to face Lalnable. He looked a mess, blood dripping down his face and lips curled into a snarl despite the way he growing just a little pale.  
  
“I’m sure he of all people gets the importance of playtime.”

The answer to that question was obvious already, of course Lalnable of all people knew how important playtime could be. Still Ridge pretended to consider it. Contemplating carefully as he glanced at one of the cats who was sitting only a few paces away from where Lalnable laid.  
  
“I think they could absolutely use something. They pretty much have torn all the feathers off the last ball we got them. Do you have an idea? I'm sure he won't mind waiting. He needs to learn to wait for things anyways.” Ridge returned with barely hidden glee, already eager to see where Xephos’ mind was going.  
  
Once upon a time Ridge had been the one under Xephos knife, and he knew very well what sort of pain he could inflict if he really truly wanted. All the more reason for them to work together on this. Make sure Lalnable never got any smart ideas again.  
  
Of course he wasn't seeming content to just listen to them. His hands pulling at the wire sealing his wrist together as if he could make it cut through his flesh and free himself. “If you want to kill me get it over with. I am not going to sit here and listen to this.” After all, how dare they talk about getting their pet a toy while they held him like this. Treated him like the monster. He hadn't done anything. Hadn't got a hand on the spaceman.

Even if the fantasy the watchdog had presented him with practically had his pants tightening.

“You really think you still have a say in this? Cute.” Xephos almost sounded surprised as he took his time scratching the tabby behind her ear, a steel glint in his eye as he studied the man that had almost gotten the jump on him. He let his eyes run down Lalnable’s form; at his attempt to keep a straight back even though his shirt was already soiled, the way his shoulders pulled back and gave away just how much he lacked the upper hand, here.  
  
He barely knew anything about Lalnable. But right now, Xephos really didn’t fucking care.  
  
He sauntered over to Lalnable, looking down at him as he used his boot to nudge Lalnable’s thighs apart and pressed it against the beginnings of a bulge there.  
  
“You’re disgusting,” Xephos said calmly, voice flat and detached even when Lalnable winced at the jolt of pain between his legs. “But I don’t want you to just sit and listen. That’s not going to teach people like you shit.”  
  
“Oh, fuck you, spaceman.”  
  
With a quick glance at Ridge, Xephos pulled his foot back and crouched in front of Lalnable. One hand wound tightly in the dirty ponytail and yanked Lalnable’s head back, the grunt only spurring Xephos on as he held the knife loosely in his other hand and cut the button of Lalnable’s fly free with one quick flick of his wrist.

Ridge snarled, he couldn't help it, his facade falling for a brief moment as Lalnable swore at them. “Not even as an insult, you filth.”

Because how dare Lalnable even as a condescending remark think he could use those words together when there was an erection building between his legs. It only took a brief moment for Ridge to get himself to move, not completely certain what Xephos was planning.  
  
Lalnable grinned when the boot moved away from his crotch. He licked his lips, wiping away the blood from his broken nose as he attempted to thrust his hips forward just a bit.

“I don't know, seems for all your talk of being disgusted, you want this little fantasy your watchdog spun as much as I do, spaceman.”  
  
He barely had a chance to get out his witty remark however before Ridge was stepping on his thigh, pressing down with his heel and eyes bright enough to burn if you weren't careful how you looked at him. “What would you like me to do, Xephos. I can drag this rat up to his knees and you can shove his ballsack up his own ass.”

“As entertaining as that sounds, I had a different idea. If that’s alright with you, love.”

Xephos, warmth spreading through him at the force Ridge displayed when Lalnable so much as insinuated what he was obviously more than eager to do, tipped his head back and looked at Ridge to make sure he was okay. He kept his fingers tightly in Lalnable’s hair, felt the strain when Lalnable grunted and tried to squirm out of the way of Ridge’s heel to no avail.  
  
“All talk and no play, then?” Lalnable grinned at Xephos, bloody and remorseless, and Xephos turned his attention back to the blonde. As fucking tempting as it was to just slit his throat then and there, watch blood and life seep into their floorboards in crimson rivulets, he also _really_ wanted to give Ridge the satisfaction of revenge.  
  
Tsking quietly, Xephos shook his head.  
  
“I am going to cut off your balls, because you clearly don’t need them anymore,” he said calmly, bright blue eyes sparking with something that made even Lalnable still. “Nor do you need your cock, because you obviously don’t know what to do with it. And then... Well, we’ll see, won’t we?”

It was like Christmas time for Ridge and he was being allowed to rip open the gifts at long last. The time spent waiting for _this_ , waiting for the ability to castrate a manic that didn't know his place. To do what karma had never seemed able to do and pay him back for the endless misfortune he had inflicted upon them. Ridge couldn't even hide the giddy feeling bubbling up in his stomach if he wanted to.  
  
Moving around Lalnable he snatched up a handful of hair. Standing behind him and looking down with every intention of killing him where he knelt.

“Feel honored we are taking the time out of our day to train you.”  
  
Ridge slipped his leg between Lalnable's, pushing them apart some before he rested his feet  on Lalnable's legs. One on each to keep them still and apart. “You know, I am sure that we can find something useful for it. No matter what we do, we will have already put it to better use than he ever did.”  
  
Lalnable grunted once more, torn between a slight ache he felt and actual fear starting to build up, because perhaps he had gotten in over his head this time. He tried to keep his composure regardless, bit back the snarl as that _fucker_ of a watchdog kept his legs neatly in place.  
  
“You’re all bark and no bite,” Lalnable said, nearly choking on a nervous giggle even when Xephos looked up sharply. “You two think you’re so important-“  
  
“Do you _really_ want to try me?” Xephos waited until Ridge had settled in before he finally let go of Lalnable’s hair, unable to resist the urge to wipe his hand on his pants as he shifted his weight. Settling in comfortably in preparation of what he could see Lalnable still didn’t buy. “Not that I fucking care, mind you. End result’s the same, anyway.”  
  
As he spoke he yanked Lalnable’s pants open far enough that he could grab the man’s half-flaccid cock harshly, silently glad that he had seen worse things in his life. Regardless, Ridge’s words had been enough to make his blood boil as he dug his nails in. He ignored how Lalnable’s eyes widened in shock, ignored the half-formed protest that dried up as soon as Xephos’ grabbed his blade a little tighter.  
  
It settled snugly just behind Lalnable’s balls, icy metal lingering there for a second before Xephos yanked his hand up and warm blood came oozing out, slicking up his fingers immediately..  
  
Lalnable _screamed_.

A scream so loud that it startled both cats and made Ridge curl his hands tighter so Lalnable didn't yank away. “If you can't keep it in your pants you don't deserve to keep it at all.” Ridge chuckled in a sing-song voice, his tone barely able to be heard above heavy breathing and pained sounds that ushered from their victim.  
  
Perhaps he and Xephos were playing above their place in this world, but it wouldn't be the first time Ridge had done so. If God had turned his back on this forsaken rock, then they really were just filling a void. Punishing those that deserved it, keeping them all from self-destruction. It was obvious they couldn't handle themselves.  
  
Not last time and not this time.  
  
Ridge watched, licking his bottom lick as Lalnable tried so valiantly to get away. Swearing and yanking against Ridge who wouldn't let him budge. He had waited so long for this, for revenge, for the tides to turn. Not having to comfort Xephos in the aftermath but hold his assailant down while Xephos meticulously cut off the offending items and discarded them like the filth they were.

“Do you need me to hold him any better love? I'm sure him thrashing about like this isn't making it any easier on you.”

It was strangely satisfying for Xephos, feeling the beginnings of hardness fade away as Lalnable’s cock and balls came free with a few quick slices of his blade until they were nothing but a shapeless lump of flesh in Xephos’ hand. Fingers slick and warm, Xephos glanced up at Ridge and dropped the severed cock on the floor so he could grab Lalnable’s chin.  
  
“He can thrash however much he likes, it’s not going to give him his cock back.” Patting Lalnable’s cheek gently, leaving smudged fingerprints that stood out in stark contrast with how deadly pale Lalnable had gone, Xephos chuckled and snatched the scrotum up from the ground, studying it for a second.

It was easy enough to cut free the now utterly useless testes, no more muscles to keep them in place or attached to anything, and Lalnable watched in hazy terror as Xephos tossed them over his shoulder just to hear one of the cats race over the wooden floor as she chased it.  
  
“F-fucking piece of shit,” Lalnable panted, gritting his teeth and trying to catch his breath as he waited for the searing, throbbing pain to lessen. It was enough to make him dizzy, pants and legs sticky with the blood that still oozed out of the horrible wound between his legs.  
  
“And he’s _still_ talking,” Xephos said, mildly intrigued.

“Determination apparently can do wonders but I think I know how to shut him up.” Ridge remarked gleefully as he looked down at Lalnable. The man looked so disgusted at them but it wasn't enough. Not even a fraction of the payback that Ridge wanted to inflict. Which is why he got an awful idea, dropping Lalnable's hair.  
  
“Say, you know how when they cook a pig they put an apple in its mouth for flavor?” He hummed, his hand dropping down to Lalnable's neck to hold him in place as he bent down and picked up the sever piece of flesh that had once been attached to the now bleeding hole that made up the fucker's crotch.  
  
He looked down at Lalnable and watched as he snarled up at him. _Oh you are going to hate me so much more in a moment,_ Ridge thought with a slight cheerful hum. “Xephos my love, would you help me pry that smart mouth of his open? He always had a tendency to snack on whatever flesh he cut off before he stuck his dick in.”

Xephos blinked in surprise, absently wiping his knife on Lalnable’s already ruined clothes as he met Ridge’s eye. He had seen his friend, the one safe thing in this world, go through a myriad of emotions and moods and knew them like the back of his hand, knew them like the winding corridors of home; it barely took a second for him to catch up, something dark settling in the space between them.  
  
Lalnable just grunted, his eyes doing their best to roll back in his skull when Xephos carelessly pressed a hand between his legs. He fucking _hated_ feeling like this, pulling his lips back in a snarl when Ridge pressed against him and _taunted_ him.  
  
“You know, I can kind of appreciate the irony here.” Xephos laughed even as he summoned a small surge of magic to his fingertips, dirty gold seeping from his hand and healing the bleeding, throbbing gash between Lalnable’s legs enough to make sure he didn’t bleed out too fast.  
  
He gingerly put the knife down too, making sure the cats didn’t run off with it before digging his nails in Lalnable’s chin and prying his mouth open.  
  
“I am going to warn you once,” he said matter-of-factly, sitting a little bit straighter and jerking Lalnable’s head down so they could look at each other. “You bite me, and you will have _worse_ problems than that mess between your legs.”

“He is going to be dealing with worse anyways, but if he bites you death won't be kind enough to take him for some time to come,” Ridge said with a smile, his nails digging into flesh enough to get some sort of sound of annoyance. Which in Ridge's honest opinion was plenty from Lalnable.  
  
The limp flesh of the severed dick was shoved into Lalnable's mouth, making sure the tip was poised down his throat and pressure applied until Ridge could feel him gagging in an attempt to wrench his airways clear. “Irony is the hand of karma on the evening I would say bright eyes.”  
  
Lalnable felt his stomach curling. Between his airways being cut off and the radiating pain from his crotch that no longer was even giving him the benefit of blood loss so he could pass out, he felt ill. The chance to swear and curse and snap at them passed as he tasted his own skin on his tongue and while human flesh always was his first choice in a meal, his own cock was the last thing he had ever planning on chowing down on.  
  
Ridge placed his hand over Lalnable's mouth, holding the lump of flesh securely in place as he leaned over Lalnable's shoulder, placing a soft kiss to Xephos lips and looking down at the blood covering their kitchen floor. “That is going to be bitch to clean up later.” He chuckled.

“I am fairly sure we’ve cleaned up worse.” Xephos smiled into the kiss, settling back to study what Ridge was doing to the man who had apparently made another life the kind of hell that brought forth the vindictive nature that Xephos knew neither of them were strangers to. Hidden away behind sweet smiles and clever grins perhaps, but no less urgent when something was a threat-  
  
and no less gratifying when the scales tipped in their favour, for once.  
  
When he glanced over his shoulder and saw the small tabby bat at the lump of flesh Xephos had no choice but to laugh, shaking his head in amusement. He was going to have to chase after her at some point, dispose of the piece of disgusting flesh before she batted it under the couch to leave it there to rot, but for now he couldn’t help but feel rather smug.  
  
Lalnable let out a strangled grunt, glaring up at Ridge through the pain that made his face and crotch hurt with every heartbeat. His lungs were starting to scream, chest tight as he jerked against the godling’s tight grip in an attempt to shake him off and fight for air that he was desperately starting to need.  
  
But as Xephos finally focused on the blonde again, Lalnable’s frantic struggle for relief had died down to small, involuntary convulsions as he sagged against Ridge. His throat screaming at the harsh intrusion until even that fresh hell faded, the last remnants of consciousness slipping from his grasp.  
  
Xephos smiled brightly as he got to his feet.  
  
“I’m pretty sure I could make a joke about biting off more than he could chew,” he commented lightly, leaning forward to press a kiss to the top of Ridge’s head. “But I’m better than that.”

Ridge grinned and moved his hand away from Lalnable's mouth as consciousness left him and the flesh fell to the ground, covered in its previous owner’s own saliva. The softest sound leaving Ridge's own lips at the kiss, irritated by the body between them.  
  
“You might be, but I'm not. I'm glad he is finally getting his just desserts.” Ridge grinned, proud of his own pun, before he glanced around the kitchen. An awful idea forming in his mind as he looked back at Lalnable held limp in his hands, and then to Xephos.  
  
“Hey bright eyes, how do you feel about a cooking lesson?”


	2. Darling, who are you praying to?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You’re such a show-off,” Xephos told Ridge as he waggled his fingers at Lalnable, standing up to lean casually on the edge of the oven and meet Ridge’s eyes. “You could have just shoved him in there, you know. Though I don’t blame you for not wanting to touch that piece of shit again. I want a shower, after all this is said and done.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ridge and Xeph are still assholes. They continue fucking with Lalnable. Please mind the tags. ...We have nothing to say for ourselves other than 'sorry not sorry'.

The sound was the first thing slowly filtering through the frustrating haze when Lalnable struggled his way back to consciousness, rhythmic and wet and dangerously close. Whatever the fuck it was, it dragged him back to the surface, forcing him to  _ feel  _ after a period of welcomed darkness. His chest, shoulders, really every bit of him ached like he’d gone through the wringer.    
  
Then someone made a noise like a wounded animal, and Lalnable realized it was  _ him _ .    
  
He coughed out of reflex, wincing at the sharp jab of pain between his legs that followed, and swallowed. Then swallowed again, trying desperately to get rid of the foul taste that seemed stuck in his throat. For a second it was tempting to just keep his eyes shut and see if it would lessen the pain; then the reality of his situation came back, rushing over him like a torrent, and Lalnable cursed hoarsely as he tried jerking his arms free in reflex.   
  
“Would you look at that, I think he’s awake.”   
  
Lalnable’s eyes snapped open in time to see Xephos untangle himself from Ridge, vicious smile in place and studying him with so much amusement that Lalnable wanted to snap his  _ fucking neck _ .   
  
When Xephos looked down and laughed, Lalnable’s gaze followed before he could stop himself, the bitter taste clinging to his tongue giving rise to a new wave of nausea when he saw one of the cats blink calmly at him. Its tail flicked before it ran off, fleeing with the mangled remains of one of Lalnable’s testicles in its mouth.

It was tempting for Lalnable to sneer at the deranged pair who were obviously getting so much joy from his suffering but the pain that every small motion caused him was enough to make him second guess the action. His jaw was still aching from the previous punishment they had inflicted.   
  
Ridge himself had followed Xephos from their perch on the table. The two had occupied themselves while Lalnable had been captured by the realm of dreams. The ground was cleaned up of the excess blood, Lalnable's body relieved of clothing and wrists rebound even tighter behind his back.    
  
Everything had been neatly put away and prepared for. The duo treating it like it was simply a party they were preparing for and not something far more sinister. The grin that plastered Ridge's face, however, completely gave them away. No matter what they said, this was only going to hurt more.   
  
“I see that.” Ridge answered at long last as he looped one arm around Xeph's waist. Casually kissing the spaceman's shoulder as if he were talking about the weather. “It took him long enough really. I was starting to think maybe we hadn't healed him up in time and he died on us.”

“From what you’ve told me, I’m going to guess he’s way too stubborn to give up that easily.” Xephos smiled and leaned back against Ridge a little, keeping his expression somewhere between polite interest and amusement as he thought. With Lalnable out cold he had not been able to resist questioning Ridge; with every new little bit of knowledge learnt, whatever attempt at remorse he might have tried up dried up painfully quickly.   
  
He almost wished he could set things right. Whatever it was that had made this mess of a planet sink to such depths that not even a galaxy’s second chance could right things, surely-   
  
But then Lalnable snarled at him, hoarse but no less vicious and obviously annoyed with his current predicament, and Xephos’ eyes hardened.  _ No more second chances. _ __   
  
“You know, we’re not very experienced when it comes to things like these,” said Xephos, keeping his eyes on Lalnable as he tangled his fingers with Ridge’s at his side. “Actually, I’d say we’re pretty shit with this kind of equipment. You realize that, right? Although I suppose it’s a nice excuse for.. experimenting.”

Experimenting was one way of putting it. Ridge glanced up at the slightly oversized oven that was now sitting against the wall in a kitchen that had always stood fairly unused. The ability to create food from their mind and energy always being utilized over old fashion cooking when they both decided that food was absolutely necessary.    
  
Ridge let his fingers tangle with Xeph's. “No, we really don't have much experience with it, but you didn't have much experience with home castrations either I didn't think, and that turned out alright.”    
  
“Alright? Are you both blind?” Lalnable snapped, unable to keep his mouth closed and knowing very well he was going to pay for it, but it didn't really seem that the other two were planning on letting him go unharmed no matter what he did. The least he could do is snap at them. 

Even if his quick quips didn't seem to do anything at all to deter the other two men, who looked at him with some mixture of emotions that made him bite down another retort.    
  
The hands that were tangled with Xeph's started heating up as Ridge's lips twitched, trying with little all his self control not to snap back. Not to waste away their evening plans on petty aggression. After all, irony was so much sweeter. Lalnable deserved karma handing his ass to him. “We always said we should learn how to cook.”

“That we did,” Xephos agreed easily. “And I don’t know about you, but I was always a much quicker study when I got to try things for myself. And if we mess up... No harm done, really.”   
  
Lalnable stilled at that, eyes narrowed to slits as he shifted on the floor a little. He licked his lips nervously, feeling uncharacteristically cornered. And deciding that he did not like it one bit. Especially not when Xephos moved to slip out of his jacket, folding it with slow, meticulous movements and placing it on one of the chairs before he crouched in front of the blonde.   
  
“I’m going to remember the watchdog’s little plan,” Lalnable bit out, fingers flexing as he tried to get some more wriggle room in the bonds that refused to budge. “You’re going to pay for this and  _ boy  _ am I going to enjoy it, spaceman.”   
  
“Will you now?” Xephos stretched his arms above his head and smiled, his eyes the only thing betraying him as they flared up brightly. “Terrifying.  _ Truly _ . Although I suppose I have to thank you; if I still had any doubts about treating you like a fucking monster, you absolutely convinced me now.”   
  
Xephos straightened and stepped to the side when one of the cats bounded through the kitchen like it had hell itself on her tail, brushing against Xephos' legs before jumping on the counter and staring at them for a second - and sprinting off again, pawing the bloody bit of flesh ahead of her. Xephos laughed quietly; at least  _ someone  _ appreciated the lengths they went to for entertainment.

“You know there comes a point in everyone’s life that they stop. They stop, and listen, and think about what it is they are saying and doing,” Ridge said as he followed Xephos’ lead and discarded his jacket carefully against the counter, trying to make sure he had Lalnable's sight the entire time.   
  
He wondered purely for curiosity’s sake, the intrigued morbidity inside him wanting to know what was going on in Lalnable's head. Ridge wouldn't dwell on it though. Instead he put his hands together, eyes glowing bright as he summoned up a little apron, the words 'my husband is better than yours' scrawled across the front. With a giggling smile, he tied the apron around his waist. 

“If we are going to learn might as well do it right, would you like one as well Xephos? Or have you already got your hands dirty for the evening?”   
  
Even as Ridge was saying it he had moved to crouch down in front of Lalnable, wrapping his hand against an already well abused jaw and picking the cannibal up to be face to face with him where he crouched and causing his victim’s body to scream in agony. The sound wasn't rewarded just yet though. Lalnable was stubborn enough to bite it down it seemed.   
  
Lalnable was starting to realize if he did nothing then they were going to take him apart, perhaps cut him up and serve him for dinner as he had done countless others. While he could respect their attempt at comedy in the form of irony,  _ at least his body wasn't being wasted _ , his evening plans still didn't, surprisingly, include being dinner. Which is why he began pulling at the binds on his wrist as hard as he could. Pain flaring up that did more to hide his panic than anything else.

Without missing a beat Xephos moved out of the way until he was behind Ridge, running his fingers through Ridge’s hair affectionately as he towered over the two men.    
  
They were being cruel. Perhaps unnecessarily so. But as Lalnable squirmed, tried to tear apart the bonds that Xephos knew he had melded together so tightly that Lalnable was going to break his wrists and tear his flesh open before he even came close to freeing himself, Xephos looked for regret and found none. Not after attempting to create a truce with people who were, true to Ridge’s words, mostly eager to start another fight, another war.   
  
“I think I’m good, you know I never mind getting my hands dirty,” Xephos said. “Besides, I’m pretty sure you pull that look off better than I do.”    
  
He closed his eyes, listening to the way Lalnable growled and cursed even though he realized by now that there was no getting out of the grip of someone with the power of the universe at his fingertips. 

Okay, they were  _ absolutely  _ being cruel. But even though Xephos didn’t remember personally what Ridge had told him happened before, there were enough other instances of the senseless violence that Lalnable displayed that the choice had never really even been a choice to begin with.   
  
“I’d say we just get started,” Xephos said. “Unless you want to listen to him blabber on, but personally I am growing rather tired of it.”

Ridge looked up at Xephos standing above him, practically melting into the hands against his scalp. A shudder running through him that disgusted their victim. After all how dare they make doe eyes at one another, pretending to be so innocent while they tortured and punished him over crimes he hadn't even committed.   
  
No matter how much he wanted them to be true right now. Aching to dig his fingers into the spaceman's neck and kill him. Desiring nothing less than holding them both down and ripping their flesh away from bone with his teeth. It was so obvious however as Ridge's hand took his cheeks, turning them to both sides so he could be appraised like meat, that his fantasy was going to remain as such.   
  
“I think we should go ahead and start. Do you know how long we should set a timer for? I don't really have a cookbook on how one prepares human flesh, do you, love?” Ridge practically purred, a habit he had picked up from Xephos as he leaned back against his husband.

Xephos relished the way Lalnable’s face contorted in pain even though he was stubbornly refusing to scream for them, flicking the blonde’s broken nose and laughing when it got him an even angrier scowl. They hadn’t been lying when they said they really didn’t have a fucking clue about cooking; apart from their skill with knives and a fridge, they were sadly limited.   
  
Not that it was going to stop them. Not when Xephos saw how eager Ridge was to get back at the man who had hurt him so, no matter how often that lying tongue of his tried to convince them both that they had the wrong person at their mercy.   
  
“I have no idea,” Xephos admitted, rubbing his neck and considering for a moment actually trying to research that very fact. “Do we even have a cookbook? I’m gonna guess not.”   
  
It didn’t matter. With a last sharp grin at Lalnable, Xephos left him in Ridge’s capable hands as he sauntered over to the oven, studying it leisurely before yanking the door open. Behind him, Lalnable finally gave up trying to yank his hands free and contemplated trying to just sink his teeth into Ridge’s face, teeth bared in a perpetual snarl as he tried to yank his face free.   
  
“I’m not going to forget this, you piece of shit.”

“Thank goodness, this entire event would be pretty much for nothing if you forgot your lesson in the end.” Ridge said with a very low chuckle as he watched Xephos give the oven a look over. Even if Ridge didn't know how to use one, at least he was grateful he knew how they worked. It made things so much easier in the long run making one that was a tad bit bigger for their large meal ticket. 

“No, pretty sure we don't have a cookbook; just turn it on and we can figure the rest out from there I am sure.” They might need a pan. Or they could just shove him on the oven bars. It would be sad to get burnt piece of flesh in their new oven, but honestly it was something Ridge could live with. He could always make a new one after all.   
  
Ridge jerked Lalnable's chin, causing him to look away from the oven and Xephos and face him instead. There was something of hatred there, something that didn't match up with the man in his memories, but was getting steadily closer with each passing heartbeat. “What about you? Care to tell us how you cook up a person for a proper meal?”   
  
Lalnable had the decency of mind to gawk at Ridge. Only a split second before he spit at him. All the anger he was feeling at being trapped, insulted, accused of things he didn't deserve to be accused of thrown back in the only way he knew how. “Not on your life. Either of you.”

“Good thing our lives aren’t the ones at stake here, then.” Xephos rolled his eyes, beyond done by now with the way Lalnable was treating them; after a moment’s hesitation, he twisted one of the buttons until the oven’s insides were bathed in a warm glow, the appliance sparking to life with a low hum.   
  
“Alright.” Xephos nodded to himself and didn’t let his annoyance show as he made his way back to Lalnable, leaning forward to press a kiss to the top of Ridge’s head before nudging him aside a little. “Improvising it is. That suits me quite well, actually. As for you-“   
  
Lalnable’s eyes widened and he let out a choked sound when he felt fingers wrap around his neck, pressing down unnaturally hard and making him jerk in panic as the force of it nearly crushed his oesophagus. Xephos lifted him up until he was pressed with his back against the wall, scrambling and failing to find his footing as Xephos grinned.   
  
“As for  _ you _ ,” Xephos repeated. “If you’re lucky, you’ll remember. You are going to spend your last few minutes thinking long and hard about the shit you pulled, although I highly doubt something like you is ever going to learn its fucking lesson.” With a look of pure disgust Xephos stepped back, watching Lalnable sagging to the floor again as he tried desperately to drag air in through a bruised and abused throat. 

Unperturbed by the wheezing, Xephos tilted his head at Ridge, all traces of the bright-hot anger aimed at Lalnable gone within a split second. “You want to do the honors?”

Ridge stood up, brushing his hands off on his apron as he watched Xephos take care of Lalnable so easily. “Stars above Xephos, you are not allowed to do things like that. I am trying to be professional and you are over there being hot as hell.” 

He moved, perching atop the large oven and closing it with a quick motion, hands glowing around the handle. It sealed the door shut so easily, an old ability that hadn't been used in some time and certainly never in this way. 

He cracked his knuckles before he looked at Lalnable, seeing the way confusion sunk into his bones. In the end it was exactly what he was hoping for. 

“As for doing the honors. Gladly.”   
  
Then there was a flash, and Lalnable felt everything fall away suddenly. The world flashing black before coming rapidly back into focus, his knees warm from the heat radiating below them. A sickening realization as he knelt, hunched over as he was, that they didn't have the idea to simply cook him. 

They intended to do it alive.   
  
Panic instantly took over his senses. The repetition of  _ I don't want to die _ screaming in his mind as he slammed his shoulder into the oven door, praying it would budge and he could escape. Swearing as loudly as he could in a vague hope that this sick joke would end now that he was clearly and obviously scared. They couldn't really plan on cooking him alive.

He didn’t even stop thrashing when he saw Xephos appear on the other side of the window, crouching so he could look inside with an unreadable expression on his face. Something that did not bode well; Lalnable redoubled his efforts but no matter how often he threw himself awkwardly at the glass, it would not budge, would not crack; it only denied him the hope that he was going to thrash his way out of the prison that was steadily heating up.   
  
“You’re such a show-off,” Xephos told Ridge as he waggled his fingers at Lalnable, standing up to lean casually on the edge of the oven and meet Ridge’s eyes. “You could have just  _ shoved  _ him in there, you know. Though I don’t blame you for not wanting to touch that piece of shit again. I want a shower, after all this is said and done.”   
  
He stood on tiptoes, head tilted back and decidedly ignoring the ruckus Lalnable was making. One hand reaching out to pull Ridge in for a kiss, tugging at Ridge’s hair knowing full well that it would be plenty to make his partner’s mind go blank if only for a little bit.   
  
After all, the  _ least  _ he could do was make sure Ridge wasn’t focused on the noise Lalnable was making.

Below them, Lalnable thrashed against the glass until his shoulder was screaming in agony. Without clothing to protect him, the thick bars of the roster he had been placed on dug into his flesh. 

Sooner than he expected it started to hurt, the metal heating up steadily and leaving parallel indents in his skin that started off as a minor annoyance – until they really heated up. Pink lines that quickly reached an even angrier shade of red, sending a new flash of agony through him every time he shifted involuntarily. And to top it off, he was  _ thirsty _ . 

Lalnable hissed, gritting his teeth until his jaw hurt and trying not to let the panic that gripped at his chest get out of hand as he drew in gulp after gulp of dry, hot air. It wasn’t long before he had to squeeze his eyes shut, tears dripping down his cheeks as his eyes tried desperately not to dry out in the hot air that was growing more and more smothering.   
  
“You know, I really don’t know how long this is going to take,” Xephos commented when the thrashing abated, rapping his knuckles on the top of the oven and throwing Ridge a curious look. “But he’s not exactly small. We might be here for a while.”

It was really hard when you didn't actually cook to judge how long it was going to take, but it was safe to say it was going to be at least a few hours. Hours that they would need to spend babysitting the oven just to make sure that the man inside didn't somehow magically find a way to escape.   
  
If he did find a way, however, Ridge was almost tempted to let him have it. 

Regardless of that choice, Ridge’ was sure they could find way of occupying their time. His stomach still in knots from Xephos display moments before, holding someone’s life by their neck and threatening to snap it, and in the process ticking all the right boxes for Ridge. Only tumbling him more over the edge with hands that were wound tight in his hair.

It was enough to make Ridge slip off the oven, flipping his and Xephos’ positions around so that he could press Xephos against the warming device, a grin he couldn't even try and hide on display as he kissed down Xeph's neck. 

“I am sure we can find ways of keeping ourselves occupied. Braindead and loud so we don't have to bother with his whining. What do you say, bright eyes?”   
  
Knowing what was going on only made Lalnable wish for something to distract himself with. His fingers curled till his nails bit into his palms. It was tempting to try and change how he was sitting get some sort of relief into his burning legs and pull himself from the fire. 

But his skin was already starting to burn and stick; if he tried moving the rest would just burn faster and he would rip away the skin already seared onto the bars. It wasn't worth it, but he wished it was. That there was any sort of relief from the oppressing heat that caused his lungs to feel like sandpaper as they desperately expanded.

Lalnable chewed on the inside of his cheeks until he could taste blood, a coppery wet relief that lasted mere seconds before he was left with nothing but the dry, foul taste of demise in his mouth again. The sounds from outside the oven were muffled enough that he could shut them out for the most part, focusing instead on the pain that gripped him like a vice if only for the cramped hunch he was forced to stay in.   
  
As Lalnable’s skin slowly but surely turned an angry shade of red beneath them, Xephos wrapped his legs around Ridge’s waist, wriggling until he was perched on the edge of the oven and settling in for the long haul.    
  
“You know what, I think I like your plan.” Xephos grinned easily as he tipped his head back, letting his fingers card through Ridge’s hair. “It’s a good thing we don’t really have to be actively involved in the, euh, the whole process, y’know. This is much better.”   
  
Once he could no longer sit still, Ridge’s lips playing at his neck and distracting him very efficiently from the rest of the world, Xephos pulled Ridge close and rolled his hips in encouragement.    
  
“C’mon, are you going to tease me forever? Or was my little trick not enough to get you going after all?”

Perhaps it was for the better that Lalnable no longer had the energy to try and listen to the conversation – or better yet, to interrupt it by screaming and thrashing against the oven door until his shoulder actually slipped from its socket. He  _ wanted  _ to, wanted to claw at the glass in the idle hope that it might make the door budge a little and let in fresh, cool air that would have been so welcome now. But what little energy he had left was spent trying to just  _ breathe. _   
  
With every minute that passed the temperature rose until Lalnable felt feverish with it, shuddering and letting out a hoarse yelp when his elbow pressed against one of the sides of the oven and the smell of seared flesh made his stomach turn. 

Even with his eyes shut he could feel blisters forming on his skin; he lacked the experience to know how flesh slowly cooked because raw meat was just so much  _ better;  _ the thought made him feel sick now, nauseous with the heat that seemed to work its way inside until he couldn’t feel anything else.   
  
When the blisters started bursting, covering more and more of Lalnable's swollen flesh in hot, sticky wetness, the screams were enough to make Xephos pause in the middle of unbuttoning Ridge’s pants.   
  
“Do you think we should check to see how it’s going?”

It was tempting really. If only because Ridge was pretty sure he could get away with shoving a meat thermometer into one of the slowly opening blisters along cooking skin. But considering that Xephos was also in the middle of unbuttoning his pants, it was very hard to choose checking on the cannibal pie instead of enjoying the taste of who was already before him.   
  
Which is exactly why Ridge grabbed Xephos chin instead, yanking him to look close with a smile on his lips as his own hand slowly traced up Xephos' thigh. 

“We could check on him. Or we could forget about him for now. I'm sure that the fact he is still screaming means he isn't done yet. We can always deal with him  _ after  _ I am done with you.”


	3. Let me be your taste test

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Human flesh, as ‘experts’ would tell anyone who bothered asking, was not unlike pork.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The wrap-up. We're still not sorry.

By the time Xephos decided that he could move again, stretching leisurely and feeling his spine realign itself after having bent rather thoroughly, he had to chase one of the cats off of the clothing that lay discarded on the floor. She was curled up into a little ball on his shirt and barely even responded when Xephos scratched her behind the ear, smiling softly as he wriggled his fingers under her chin and took away the mangled bits of flesh she had been playing with.  
  
They barely even resembled their original form anymore; with a shrug, Xephos threw it in the waste disposal and decided to go in search of a clean shirt later. He slipped into his pants, throwing Ridge a grin as he nodded at the oven.   
  
“He’s been quiet for a while now. What do you think?”   
  
Lalnable had, in fact, gone silent quite some time ago, his increasingly high-pitched screams dying down until the only sounds filling the spacious kitchen were from the pair entwined on top of the oven.   
  
It had been hell.   
  
Human flesh, as ‘experts’ would tell anyone who bothered asking, was not unlike pork; and true to that, Lalnable’s flesh had started resembling the bright pink of a suckling pig, bursting open once the heat had proven too much and more and more skin started slowly crisping up, aided by the sizzling fat underneath.

He had pressed his hands against the white-hot sides of the oven at one point, fingers splayed and _pushing_ in the idle, half-dazed hope that something would give. Every breath was agony, shallow and burning in a desperate need for oxygen, and he pressed and pushed and shoved until it had stopped hurting.   
  
The entire surface of his shins, side and lower arms were covered in evenly spaced lines, black and red seared into his skin everywhere his body had touched the metal rack. In the end it had become hard to even think, the enzymes so very much required to keep Lalnable’s brain functioning cooked to all hell and leaving him confused at the sound of his own voice cutting through the anguish.   
  
Xephos crouched in front of the oven and let out a curious sound, mildly surprised at the foetal position that their victim had ended up in; his hands curled into loose fists in front of his face as if to protect it, knees tucked neatly under him.

Although the latter shouldn’t be a real surprise; it wasn’t really like they had given him a lot of leg room.

After all he really didn’t deserve such courtesy. “How does he look?” Ridge asked as he stretched himself out, trying to find the remains of discarded clothing that had been left in varying parts of the kitchen. The wait for their meal to cook had taken some time. Was it any wonder that they had found other ways of occupying themselves?  
  
As it stood however, thanks to their extra activities both of them had failed to actually set a timer of any sort. Which was the exact reason that as Ridge pranced over tucking his shirt in, smoke leaked out of the oven. It was an awful smell really, nothing like a well cooked meal should be.

“It seems we might have got him a little extra crispy, don't you think?”  
  
The question was followed by his eyes finally losing the bright glow as his powers faded away and the lock on the oven let up,  allowing Ridge to open up the door and see the charred result at their attempted cooking. It had went about as well as he had been expecting, honestly.   
  
Blistered skin burst open and seared from head to foot, his hair burnt away and leaving him looking rather unrecognizable; for the first time, Ridge was starting to feel the slightest bit of relief. As if their revenge was finally up to par with the sin.

Xephos, leaning back a little to allow the oven door to open, wrinkled his nose at the way the scent. It had slowly been filling the kitchen the last few hours, to the point where even the cats were restless with it. The thick, heavy smell of cooked meat mixed with traces of burnt hair; it might have been enough to make Xephos nauseous if there was any room for a sentiment like that.

“Maybe _just_ a little,” Xephos agreed amiably. “But that is what we get for winging it, I guess.”

He slowly got to his feet, stretching his arms above his head and cracking his knuckles. When he closed his eyes and _breathed_ it was easy enough to feel the web of their shared awareness, the not-quite-world and its new inhabitant as he was suspended there. About as stuck as he had been in the oven, though mercifully free of the feeling of his own flesh being slowly charred to all hell.

Small blessings, Xephos supposed.

When Xephos opened his eyes again they lit up brightly and he grinned, rolling his shoulders black with a pleased hum before nudging Ridge with his foot.

“Do me a favour and save like.. a plate or two of him before we get rid of this fucking mess. I’m pretty sure it’ll come in handy.”

Because when did charred flesh of a cannibalistic serial killer not come in handy? The request was enough to make Ridge grin. He took a moment to walk over to the table, snatching up his coat and shrugging it on.  “I can do that.”   
  
Which was true, he had no problems cutting Lalnable apart. “You know, I really don't think either of us should try and ingest this,” he noted before holding one hand up as his eyes glowed an unnatural gold.   
  
The sharp edges of a carving knife formed between his fingers as he knelt down placing his hand on the still hot back and digging the knife into the welted flesh on lalnable's side, carving off a few chunks of the well done meat.   
  
“We could feed it to Daisy. She eats anything and I am sure she wouldn't turn her nose up at our attempts at cooking. Even if it isn't fantastic.” He chuckled wiggling his fingers in the open gash he had carved out and feeling around inside the chest cavity, breaking through the ribs that stood in his way.   
  
His fingers looped around something and he yanked, feeling resistance for a few moments before the heart came free. “Always something that can be done with demon hearts right?” he chuckled.

“They’re supposed to give you power, aren’t they?” Xephos shook his head, grabbing one of the cats off the floor and letting her nestle against his chest before she got the chance to jump paws-first on the charred carcass Ridge was working on. “Somehow I feel like eating this one would just make you puke your guts out, really. I’m going to pass.”  
  
He had to admit that no matter how rewarding and deliciously ironic their punishment had been, he wasn’t feeling particularly inclined to let things come full circle and actually _eat_ whatever remained of Lalnable.   
  
Daisy, however, would definitely not object.   
  
“Sounds like a plan, I bet she’s just happy she doesn’t have to chase after a cow today,” Xephos laughed, plopping the cat on the counter before rummaging around in one of the cabinets and handing Ridge a plate. “Besides, Daisy would even eat something if it was so charred you could bash someone’s head in with it. I’d say go for it.”

The meat was plopped down onto the plate. Ridge reaching up and grabbing a cloth so he could get the extra remains off his hands. It seemed that they would need much more time before they could manage to make a meal that was suited for human consumption, but really who would have wanted to eat this filth anyways, even if he had been cooked perfectly.  
  
Ridge stepped over, settling his arms over top of Xeph's shoulders and giving him a long kiss even as he felt his watch heating up in his pocket. Trying to let him know of a soul in need of attending. Something he really didn't care for cleaning at the moment. “You want to come with me? I am sure Daisy would be bouncing seeing you today especially since we are bringing her a treat.”

“Excuse you, Daisy is always happy to see me.” Xephos smirked and leaned their foreheads together for a moment before reluctantly untangling himself from Ridge, wriggling his necklace from his pocket and slipping it over his head. It rested warm and comforting against his sternum even as he grabbed the plate and studied the cooked, dark heart with a look of mild disgust; not even necessarily because of what it was.  
  
It sure as fuck wasn’t the _first_ human heart he’d ever seen ripped out of the cavity it should be resting in, and it wasn’t going to be the last. But it was definitely the first cooked one. Surely there was some kind of fucked-up symbolism to be found in it.   
  
Xephos didn’t bother cutting up the meat but just set it on the table, like a mocking imitation of dinner, and wiggled his fingers at Ridge.   
  
“Sounds like a plan, friend.”   
  
He reappeared a few feet in front of Daisy, landing lightly on his feet and letting out a startled yelp when Ridge’s _mildly_ oversized dog scrambled to her feet, tongue hanging out of her mouth but obviously delighted at the surprise visit.

Feeding the dog that was the size of a small mountain was always a struggle but at least she would heat pretty much anything. Ridge thought as he grabbed up the burnt and disfigured corpse by the neck and teleported them away.   
  
Hopefully the cats wouldn't think the heart was for them. That would really be a mess.   
  
Showing up at the cave that they had made Daisy's home he smiled when he saw the large dog very much focus intent on Xephos, tail thumping fast enough to make it seem like there was an earthquake.   
  
Ridge threw the corpse, charred and stiff as it was, in the dinner bowl and whistled. “Daisy girl. Got you a treat!”

 

* * *

 

Lalnable woke with a crick in his back that reminded him of being hunched over a desk for too many hours - if it wasn’t for the fact that his surroundings were about the furthest thing from an office he could imagine. With a groan he pushed himself upright, one hand pressed to his forehead as if he could force the immense headache down that made the inside of his skull pound, and blinked into the darkness.

A basement of some sort. Great. Stone, wood and the slightly mouldy smell of being underground, and some kind of almost-thought nagging in the back of his head like an insistent little thing-  
  
“Great,” he muttered under his breath as he got to his feet, squinting until his eyes got used at the absolute lack of light and he could find his way around. “Just. Fucking. Great.”   
  
Being upstairs did not help; surroundings as unfamiliar as the basement had been, Lalnable carefully made his way through the house, ears piqued and looking for a way out because wherever this was, it was most definitely not his base.   
  
In the doorway to the kitchen, he paused.   
  
“What do we have _here_ ?” He let out a soft giggle and prodded at the piece of meat left for anyone to find, his headache momentarily forgotten. It was quite obviously a heart of some sort, although it was utterly ruined; no longer tender and oozing blood but a dry, disappointing mess.   
  
He tutted in disapproval, lips quirked even as he picked up the strong-smelling thing and studied with an expert’s eye. “How careless.”   
  
But then again, he _did_ feel quite hungry.


End file.
